Genesis 1: 1-5
Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, An he maded the skiez An da Urf, but he no eated it.
The Urfs wus witout shapez An wus dark An scary An stufs, An he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.
An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark An not tripz ovr nethin. an Ceiling Cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz.
An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. Teh evning An morning was teh first day.
Exodus 6: 1-4
So ceiling cat saiz to Moses now joo c what I dooz to pharaoh I hitz him and he like let the israeli d00dz go
So ceiling cat seiz to moses I am 73h H4o0rZ
und I apear into Abraham nd into Issac n’ into Jacob by mah name “TEH H4X0R” bicoz mah name Ceiling Cat wazn’t know to they
and I saidz to they I give you territoriez in Canaan where you are n00bs
Teh Ceiling Cat giv me cheezburger, teh Ceiling Cat takded mah cheezburger awai. I stil laiks teh Ceiling Cat.